That continued for several nights. Then she woke up wide away and wanted to play in the middle of the night. She kept trying to wake the accountant up like she does on Saturday mornings, fake coughing, scratching his back when I would try to feed her. Finally, I put her in her bed and let her play. From there, we escalated to waking 8 times in one night. Eight. She has never done that since she was a newborn. Eight times. Just as I was wondering what was going on, I stumbled across a post on a facebook group I'm part of. Someone complaining that the four month sleep regression was kicking their butt. Ahhhh.... Right.... I forgot about that. I read about it somewhere... Four and ten/ish months there are sleep regressions. Yuck. I waited a while, thinking it would "go back to normal." It didn't. Sooooo... I researched. I read all kinds of things to conquer the sleep regression. Most of them I already did. So, now what?
Here's what I found out. The sleep "regression" is actually a good thing - baby is maturing in their sleep patterns. Unfortunately, baby still wants to act like a baby and thinks the easiest thing is for you to get up and comfort them. Baby must be trained, or re-trained, to self comfort at this point. Up till this point Sirenita had been great about sucking her thumb to help her sleep. Anytime she was tired she would just pop that thumb into her mouth and drift away. Now she became suddenly very aware of... everything. The sound of the dog's claws on the living room floor was enough to distract her, and keep her awake. Previously, she had gone to sleep and slept "like a baby" through movies that we watched in the same room. No more of that. Not only was she awake, but she was trying to watch the movie through the sides of her bed. Something had to be done. Here is what helped, and what we did to "conquer" the regression.
Darkness!
Up till this point, we had been sleeping with a nightlight. We got rid of it. Cold turkey. Good bye night light, hello complete darkness. That ended Sirenita's night time play sessions, and cut us down from waking up eight times to about four. Still too many for me!
Now, here's a funny story to go with this point. I've found that the darker it is, the better and longer Sirenita will sleep. So we got rid of the nightlight, and we close the curtains to keep that pesky moon from waking the baby. One night I got up to feed her at about 4 am. I don't see very well in the dark. Haven't for a long time, and I don't exactly sleep with my glasses on. I don't even wear them in the day most of the time, let alone at night. So I hear Sirenita started to fuss. I know she is probably hungry, and if I feed her now she'll sleep till 8, soo... I went to her crib, stuck my hands in there and waved them around like a blind person till I felt baby. I found an arm, and based off the location of the arm, found body and picked her up. As I was carrying Sirenita to the bed, I came to the realization that something wasn't quite right. I couldn't put my finger on it, exactly.... Until her two little feet, safely zipped into a sleep sack, hit my shoulder. It seems I picked her up upside down, and she didn't make so much as a peep of protest. I may need to consider investing in some glow in the dark paint, and painting this end up signs on her sleep sacks. I was sure that she'd think it was play time and we were done for, but she went right back to sleep after eating!
The Nursery
OK, so this one has been hard. We began transitioning Sirenita to the nursery. I started by putting her down for her long morning nap in there. Then we started putting her down for the first part of the night in her nursery, and transitioning her back to our room when we go to bed. I tried a "dream feed" as it was recommended to help overcome the sleep regression, but what I have is that it's better to let her sleep till she wakes on her own. We were putting her down around 8, and she would go to sleep with no problem... Then we would take her to our room and I would feed her right before we went to bed at 10:30. She was waking up again at 11:30, and numerous times after. I realized that the "dream feed" was breaking her sleep cycle and making it more difficult for her to sleep.
We dropped the "dream feed" and started relying on a monitor. It was scary at first; she had always slept in our room and I didn't know if I'd wake up with the monitor. We got over that. Now she is sleeping from 8pm till around 11:30pm, and waking to eat, which is what she did before the regression. I confess I still bring her to our room at that time, but we're getting there. Sirenita will be 6 months old in a few weeks, and once she starts on real food I plan on night weaning, so she will be ready to sleep all night in the nursery... Or I'll be ready to let her.
Night weaning
Now, since we're talking about night weaning, this is the biggest step. Sirenita was still waking up four times every night. Pre-regression, she was only waking twice. I was groggy and frustrated one morning, after four night time feeds and as I made breakfast I complained to God... What in the world did I need to do to fix this? And then it came to me... The way we got down to two feedings in the first place. We started working towards night weaning.
The reason a baby wakes up during the regression is that their sleep cycles have changed, and they suddenly want you to help them get back to sleep. For many babies, that means nursing or a bottle. My daughter was perfectly capable of getting herself back to sleep, but the quickest, easiest way to do that is Mama.
I warned my husband that morning that we were going to begin working on night weaning again. That means that instead of me jumping at the slightest peep, I leave her to fuss, cry, and eventually settle herself down and go back to sleep. I know, it sounds cruel. Believe me, it's just as hard on us as it is on her. She is in our room, after all.
The first time Sirenita woke at 11:30, I brought her back to her room, fed her, and put her to bed. She woke up at 2am. Too soon. I didn't get her. She cried. It felt like an eternity. Just when I was going to give in, she went back to sleep. She woke up again at 2:30, fussed a bit, and went back to sleep. She woke again, at almost 4am. This time I felt it was reasonable that she would be hungry, and fed her.
The following night, the 2 am wake up happened, lasted half as long, and she was out. Day three, the 2am wake up was like this, "Waasnooooorreee...."
All this time, I had been leaving her to self comfort during her daytime naps, and she would fuss a little and go back to sleep. I wasn't running to get her during the day, because there was no one to wake up. At night, didn't want her to wake the accountant so off I zipped to get her back to sleep. I was making it worse. Now here is the amazing thing - the difference was immediate. The day after I let her fuss herself back to sleep the first time, she napped better and was happier. It's been incremental. So... If you think it's cruel to let your child fuss or cry themselves back to sleep... First of all, waking eight times a night is not good sleep for them either. They're cranky and tired the next day. Secondly, they cry because they want to go to sleep! My daughter won't do that in my arms. So... There you have it. That is how we made it through!
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